Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Lazing on a Tuesday Afternoon
"Through the haze that is my memory, you stayed for drama though you paid for a comedy. I know I can be colorful. I know I can be grey. I know this loser's living fortunate, 'cause I know you will love me either way." Steel Dragon OK, so it's been more than a couple of days. Or weeks. Alright, FINE, it's been 1 month and 2 days since I've been here. By now you should know that I'm a "fair-weathered" blogger. Look at that...I just blamed you, the reader, for me not being here. Why I don't have the heart for this that I once did, I have no idea. All my life I've enjoyed writing. Stories, letters to people, shopping lists. The least of these, poems, but I have written them. I guess when I mentioned I was coming out of my "funk" a few blogs ago, I didn't realize I'm not totally there yet. I don't really have anything particular to write about tonight. It was just one of those rare occasions that I felt like doing so. But, I guess I should make mention of the last one, like always. First of all, I want to thank all of you who left comments and have been encouraging to me through this process of should I or shouldn't I have surgery. It really has helped me make up my mind. And I have...sort of. Well, I finally made the choice and felt at peace in prayer FOR the surgery. I actually was leaning more towards the Gastric-Sleeve, and that's the one, I'm happy to report, that I'm going to go with....eventually. I talked to the insurance people and apparently bariatric surgery is not something they cover. It's something that our (well, Larry's) employer would have had to pay into in order for us to pay into it, and of course, they did not. Larry, being the dear that he is, said that we could finance it. Where as there is a lot of medical financing to grab hold of out there, it's still not something we can afford right now. The best loan with the best interest rate we found would still be more than our car payment, so....I guess my dream of looking like Beyonce by this Christmas is on hold for now. Maybe by Easter of 2012, huh?? Stay tuned! =) Like I said, I really don't have anything to write about. Though, the more I sit here and bang on these letters, the more I feel I might. Maybe I just enjoy typing, I don't know. Everything seems to be running very smoothly right now. Kids are great. I have the husband of all husbands. I have a small handful of friends who I love and who I try to keep up with. If not daily, weekly. Dad got a good report at the Dr. the other day. Yep. I'd say things are close to perfection. Gosh, now that I said it out loud, it's kinda scary. Like I should be waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like I should be waiting for it all to fall apart. Why am I "shoulding" all over myself? Could it be? That I'm a pessimist? Naah. OK, maybe just a little, but who could blame me? I prayed and prayed for just one "normal" day after the steam of crappy ones I've had. Look at this...I'm finally on a winners streak, and I complain still. Pity: Party of One?! Alright, enough! It's over. My quota in the complaint box is full. Once again, thanks so much for coming and listening to me rant on and on about nothing. I'm trying to get into bed earlier and earlier each time. Last night was 1:30am, which sounds bad, but was actually good for me. It's 12:07 now. I think I'll go post this on Facebook right quick, then head off to bed. Good Night everyone!! =)
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
The Last Resort
"The slate will soon be clean. I'll erase the memories, just to start again with someBODY new..." Queen
Before I tell you the real reason I came here tonight, you wanna know something amazing? It took Larry and I almost 10 years, 6 kids, 9 cars, 8 homes, countless tears and laughter beyond infinity to come to realize something....each other! I got more insight into that man during the 3 weeks he was here on sick leave than I ever have before. Not only that, but he has called me every single day since he's been back on the road. Do you know what this means? It means he loves me. Or rather, it means I finally excepted the fact that he could and probably always has. We made so much love in those 3 weeks! And I'm not just talking about sex. We had conversations. Real conversations. And for the first time in our entire life together, I laid in bed next to my husband in bed naked and had not a care in the world. Usually I can't even change my shirt if he's in the room. I was so liberating, I laid there and cried myself to sleep. To finally realize that the person you married is not just your husband or wife, but the person who God created just for you is His image. There was a moment during our last night here before he went back to work that I swear our hearts were beating at the same speed. I wallowed in the guilt of having not realized these things a million years ago, but only for a moment. Just long enough for God to let me know that He doesn't want me to look to the past, He wants me to relax and enjoy the gift that is today. *Ahhhhhhh*
So, thank you for letting me share that right quick with you. And thank you, Jesus, for allowing me this time to get to know my precious husband. (Amen.) And thank you, Larry, for just being who you have always been.
OK; real reason......
A couple of Saturday's ago, we went to 'New Hope Bariatric Center' and sat in on a seminar explaining the 'LapBand' & 'Gastric Sleeve' surgeries.
I think I'm leaning more toward the sleeve. You'll have to forgive me for not going into depth, but I've thought and thought and talked and talked about this until even I'M tired of it!! So, here's what I'll do, if you'd be willing to do a little homework assignment for me. I'm gonna leave a link to the website. If you go under the "procedures" tab, it has a video and several paragraphs explaining each one. I'd love to know what you think are the pros and cons of each one.
Don't get me totally wrong...I DO have more to say on this, but I'm just kinda drained from talking about it. So, I'll leave here for a few days. If you want, you can read or watch what they have to say about the 2 procedures. I'll then check back in a few days to see what kind of insight awaits me, then I'll open another blog and let you know what I found out. Sound good?
Thank you all so much!!
http://www.malleysurgical.com/
Before I tell you the real reason I came here tonight, you wanna know something amazing? It took Larry and I almost 10 years, 6 kids, 9 cars, 8 homes, countless tears and laughter beyond infinity to come to realize something....each other! I got more insight into that man during the 3 weeks he was here on sick leave than I ever have before. Not only that, but he has called me every single day since he's been back on the road. Do you know what this means? It means he loves me. Or rather, it means I finally excepted the fact that he could and probably always has. We made so much love in those 3 weeks! And I'm not just talking about sex. We had conversations. Real conversations. And for the first time in our entire life together, I laid in bed next to my husband in bed naked and had not a care in the world. Usually I can't even change my shirt if he's in the room. I was so liberating, I laid there and cried myself to sleep. To finally realize that the person you married is not just your husband or wife, but the person who God created just for you is His image. There was a moment during our last night here before he went back to work that I swear our hearts were beating at the same speed. I wallowed in the guilt of having not realized these things a million years ago, but only for a moment. Just long enough for God to let me know that He doesn't want me to look to the past, He wants me to relax and enjoy the gift that is today. *Ahhhhhhh*
So, thank you for letting me share that right quick with you. And thank you, Jesus, for allowing me this time to get to know my precious husband. (Amen.) And thank you, Larry, for just being who you have always been.
OK; real reason......
A couple of Saturday's ago, we went to 'New Hope Bariatric Center' and sat in on a seminar explaining the 'LapBand' & 'Gastric Sleeve' surgeries.
I think I'm leaning more toward the sleeve. You'll have to forgive me for not going into depth, but I've thought and thought and talked and talked about this until even I'M tired of it!! So, here's what I'll do, if you'd be willing to do a little homework assignment for me. I'm gonna leave a link to the website. If you go under the "procedures" tab, it has a video and several paragraphs explaining each one. I'd love to know what you think are the pros and cons of each one.
Don't get me totally wrong...I DO have more to say on this, but I'm just kinda drained from talking about it. So, I'll leave here for a few days. If you want, you can read or watch what they have to say about the 2 procedures. I'll then check back in a few days to see what kind of insight awaits me, then I'll open another blog and let you know what I found out. Sound good?
Thank you all so much!!
http://www.malleysurgical.com/
Monday, February 14, 2011
Where has Jessica been?
"I keep a journal of memories. I'm feeling lonely, I just can't breath. I fell to pieces, and I'm still falling..." Velvet Revolver.
Hello again Blog Followers! I can't believe it's been so long since I've been here. If you read my previous blog about the situation going on while my step-daughter was living here, I guess that's the reason why. I think I associated it with some bad memories and I just didn't have the heart to come back. Well, usually when I write, I like to pick up right from where I left off, plus give an update on whatever I was writing about before I start a new topic. I think I'll keep that grand tradition going, except this time, I'll do it a little differently. In my last entry, I gave a list of things that I had hoped to write about blog-by-blog. Seeing as I'm so far behind, I think I'll do that list in paragraphs here in this blog, then I'll let you know what I've been up to, and why it's taken me so long to get here. How's that sound?
**(OK, I just looked it up so I'd remember my list, and it wasn't the last entry, it was entry before last, but you'll get the idea. Then I'll let ya know how my little "business deal" went!)
1. Went on Vacation
The vacation I'm referring to was last Summer (2010). We drove to California to visit my family. We primarily stayed with my brother and my aunt. To be honest, I was very nervous about going. So much so that I wanted to back out more than a few times. I let my weight hold me back so much it's ridiculous! We really did have an amazing time! My brother and sister in law were the most gracious hosts (and my aunt too!). I met my nephew and GREAT-nephew for the first time. We went to Disneyland. I got to spend time with my sister and her sweet boys. Speaking of sisters, I got to introduce my children to my sister's oldest friend (who is also like a sister to, and has been for as long as I can remember)...it was precious! So, for those of you who had a hand in granting me this, one of he most wonderful times of my life, I thank you from the bottom of my soul! (PS: There are pictures of the vaca in my albums here on FB, plus, here's a link to a YouTube video. One day we went to Hollywood, and Joe decided to put on a show right smack-dab in the middle of Hollywood Blvd! Guess he felt the need to keep up, eh? LOL PS Again: If you DO watch the video, please watch PART 2...it's even funnier!!)
**OK, it wouldn't let me post the link here for some reason, so, I'll just post it in the status bar when I post this blog on FB...please look for it! =)
2. My best friend and her ugly divorce
All I can say about this is...she's an amazing woman that has come out on top from a really bad situation. She is beautiful and I love her and her kiddos very much!
3. Mollie's last year of VBS
I thought this might be sad for her, OK, ME, but it really wasn't. It was the best year the kids have had in VBS yet! =)
4. Mollie started Middle School
Honestly, for some reason, Bonnie has always been the one I've had problems letting go of. I don't know why, but her "firsts" & "lasts" are always the one that bring tears to my eyes. But this year was a little different. The ride to Mollie's first day of middle school felt like it took an hour. All I could think about was the way her cute little fat cheeks and her big blue eyes use to look when I was breast feeding her SO many moons ago! I pulled up to the curb, told her I loved her and to have a great day as I do all of them every day, she got out, put her head down and walked quickly to the door. I made it almost out of the parking lot before the water works started and they didn't stop until I got home. This is it, folks. She's on her way. And it's no longer by my side with her hand in mine. She's making her own way. I try each day to give them the freedom to grow, and I pray each day that I can cut my mistakes down to a minimum. That's all I can do, really. I love you, Mollie Grace! =)
5. Marital Problems
This would take forever to go over, and frankly, I really cant relive it right now. Maybe another time. Thank you.
6. Being the 5Th grade room parent coordinator
Not as difficult as I thought. Last year I was the head room parent for each of my girls, and that was a trial, so I figured this would be too, but not so much. I really am grateful to all the wonderful room moms (and the one dad!) that work so hard to make parties and special events so wonderful for our classrooms!
7. Being the middle school treasure
Well, I was demoted, if you will. I was struggling to keep it all straight, and my hubby thought I was devoting too much time to my volunteer work and not enough to my family, so they voted in another and all is well! =)
8. Housing Board Secretary
Please see #5.
9. We got a puppy
His name is Odie. Mostly because our cat's name is, yes you guessed it, Garfield! Which is really hilarious to me because neither one of them look anything like their cartoon counterparts. He's a purebred red Cocker. He's just a delight. Such a great addition to the family! My camera was acting up, and I couldn't afford to get it fixed until recently, (I don't know how to post pictures on FB with my phone!) so I'll post some pictures of him as soon as I can. =)
10. Larry trying to get a job closer to home
Well, that kind brings us into the now, so I'll explain that one as I go.
OK, I need to just say it....I think I'm depressed. Or something...
I can give any excuse in the book, but the real reason I haven't been here is because I just couldn't do it. I fake my way through each and every day. I laugh and smile when I talk to people. Someone asks me how I am, and my answer is always: "Great! How are you?". Tell ya the truth, I'm screaming on the inside and I think I'm starting to go a little nuts. This depression, or this "thing" whatever it may be is really starting to effect my whole world. I don't visit or talk to my family or friends like I use to. I rarely go to church. I only venture out of my house to go to the market or to take kids to or from school. I sleep even less than I normally do. I either eat WAY too much in a day or nothing at all. When you see those commercials for depression meds and they say that it physically hurts....well, it does! My back is always sore from tossing and turning in bed and my ankles are swollen a lot of the time from not getting enough exercise. And, if it's possible, I have even less of a sex life than I did before. But here's the thing....I'm stuck between rocks and a hard place. Yes, you read right! I said rockS because there's more than one! My wise and favorite sister has over come many adversities by living the philosophy of: It happened, now get over it. And if I took anything away from my older, yet, none-the-wiser sister it was: Don't let life bottle up inside of you....let it out before it gets our of control.
Thing is...I'm not doing either of these. The reason I don't talk to my friends and family is partly because I don't want them to know how bad this has become and partly because I'm SO exhausted from "keeping up appearances". I really don't wanna end up like my mother, where I just sweep all my problems under the rug, never address what's going on, tare down everyone around me and cry about literally anything and everything. On that same token, I don't really wanna end up like my sister either (the less wiser one) and sit around popping pills and smoking dope all day and talking about how depressed I am because things that happened 30 years ago ruined my life. There's got to be some sort of happy medium. Somewhere between tight-lipped and whine-bag. I just haven't found it yet.
On a lighter note....
In the midst of all the pain and suffering, God has delivered a beacon of hope. Remember my idea to start my own company? Well, it's not exactly like I planned, but as of last week I'm doing just what I wanted to do. I cook, I clean and I run errands for a living!
A dear friend of mine approached me with the notion of caring for her brother who has had a stroke. He needed someone to cook, help keep house, take him places, and run errands for him. So, now I work for this wonderful man and I have to say...I think it's bringing me out of my funk! I have a little more focus and drive now. Gosh, that sounds terrible doesn't it? I have a husband and 4 precious children here. I should be looking forward to seeing and taking care of them each day. Don't get me wrong, I really do. And, if you've known me for longer than 10 seconds, you know I love those people with all my soul. But they are right here. I guess I just needed to think outside the box a little bit.
Anyway, speaking of God and His perfect timing....this job could not have come at a better time in our lives. Larry has been out of work since the beginning of this month. He got really sick with what he thought was the flu and it turned out to be pneumonia. He had never had pneumonia in his life, and this one got him pretty bad. And what made things worse, I think, was....the weekend he came home, we took him to urgent care and the doc there said he had a "cold". So, we went home and I treated him as if he had a cold. And it kept getting worse and worse as the week went on. So, I took him to our regular doc and sure enough the x-ray confirmed pneumonia. So, all that time was wasted when he could have been taking antibiotics, in my opinion. Never-the-less....When he saw the doc, they noticed he had high blood pressure, so they put him on a low dose med for it, and made him an appointment for a follow up a week later. In the mean time, Larry called his boss to let him know what was going on. At first they told him that he couldn't drive on the meds the doc gave him for the pneumonia, so they told him to say home until he was done taking it, plus 24 hours so it would be out of his system, then call back and they would get him a new assignment. Somewhere between 2 teaspoons of Robitussin with Codeine and 1 cup of chicken noodle soup, Larry's boss called because he had talked to our doc's office so he could get them to fax him over his "get outta jail free card", and they told him about the high blood pressure. Yadda, yadda, yadda....Larry can't go back to work until his blood pressure is lowered. He went back to have it checked last Monday, and it was even higher. So, they put him on another med, and they will recheck him this coming Monday.
In short...my friends' brother's and Larry's afflictions are my gain. Listen, if any of you ever have a crisis, call me because apparently I deal with them pretty well.
So, where am I now? Well, I'm just here trying to matter. It's so cliche, but I'm taking "one day at a time". I wake up at 6:45 to tell Mollie goodbye before she gets on the bus. I sit around sucking on some coffee and a few cigarettes (yes, I know, I know! =p) before I wake Bonnie and Charlie to help them start their day. They eat and get ready while I shower. Then I wake up my boys to get them going. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I come back home after drop offs at Ridgeview & Sterling to a mixture of quality time with Larry & Joe and dishes & laundry before I head off to work. And on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I just go straight there after the girls are all in school. I get off just in time to get Mollie and that gives her and I about 1/2 an hour to wash the car, get an ice cream or just chat. I swing by for Charlie then Bonnie and we return home where all our boys: Daddy, Joe, Garfield and Odie are there to greet us. It really is sweet.
Honestly, I sort of can't wait for Larry to go back on the road. But, that doesn't mean I wont miss him any less. It's been fun having him home. It reminded me of before we had Joe and it was just us and the girls. Waking up each day side-by-side. Sharing in all the day-to-day responsibilities. Well, it was more like 60/40, (and these days, it's more like 90/10) but that's pretty darn good for a guy. (No offence, fellas.)
A wonderful lady once told me: If there's nothing left to do, just pray. I'm really trying hard to keep that first and foremost in my mind so I can get through my days like I mentioned. And I really do need to remember how much fun blogging is so it wont take me 6 months before I return. I appreciate your patients, readers. And this time, I don't promise to blog every day or even once a week, but I promise I'll try.
Well, whattya know? Scarlett O'Hara was right......."Tomorrow is another day."
**(PS: I usually proof read and end up changing a ton of things before I post. One thing I WILL promise is...I won't do that any more. What ya see is what ya get!)
Hello again Blog Followers! I can't believe it's been so long since I've been here. If you read my previous blog about the situation going on while my step-daughter was living here, I guess that's the reason why. I think I associated it with some bad memories and I just didn't have the heart to come back. Well, usually when I write, I like to pick up right from where I left off, plus give an update on whatever I was writing about before I start a new topic. I think I'll keep that grand tradition going, except this time, I'll do it a little differently. In my last entry, I gave a list of things that I had hoped to write about blog-by-blog. Seeing as I'm so far behind, I think I'll do that list in paragraphs here in this blog, then I'll let you know what I've been up to, and why it's taken me so long to get here. How's that sound?
**(OK, I just looked it up so I'd remember my list, and it wasn't the last entry, it was entry before last, but you'll get the idea. Then I'll let ya know how my little "business deal" went!)
1. Went on Vacation
The vacation I'm referring to was last Summer (2010). We drove to California to visit my family. We primarily stayed with my brother and my aunt. To be honest, I was very nervous about going. So much so that I wanted to back out more than a few times. I let my weight hold me back so much it's ridiculous! We really did have an amazing time! My brother and sister in law were the most gracious hosts (and my aunt too!). I met my nephew and GREAT-nephew for the first time. We went to Disneyland. I got to spend time with my sister and her sweet boys. Speaking of sisters, I got to introduce my children to my sister's oldest friend (who is also like a sister to, and has been for as long as I can remember)...it was precious! So, for those of you who had a hand in granting me this, one of he most wonderful times of my life, I thank you from the bottom of my soul! (PS: There are pictures of the vaca in my albums here on FB, plus, here's a link to a YouTube video. One day we went to Hollywood, and Joe decided to put on a show right smack-dab in the middle of Hollywood Blvd! Guess he felt the need to keep up, eh? LOL PS Again: If you DO watch the video, please watch PART 2...it's even funnier!!)
**OK, it wouldn't let me post the link here for some reason, so, I'll just post it in the status bar when I post this blog on FB...please look for it! =)
2. My best friend and her ugly divorce
All I can say about this is...she's an amazing woman that has come out on top from a really bad situation. She is beautiful and I love her and her kiddos very much!
3. Mollie's last year of VBS
I thought this might be sad for her, OK, ME, but it really wasn't. It was the best year the kids have had in VBS yet! =)
4. Mollie started Middle School
Honestly, for some reason, Bonnie has always been the one I've had problems letting go of. I don't know why, but her "firsts" & "lasts" are always the one that bring tears to my eyes. But this year was a little different. The ride to Mollie's first day of middle school felt like it took an hour. All I could think about was the way her cute little fat cheeks and her big blue eyes use to look when I was breast feeding her SO many moons ago! I pulled up to the curb, told her I loved her and to have a great day as I do all of them every day, she got out, put her head down and walked quickly to the door. I made it almost out of the parking lot before the water works started and they didn't stop until I got home. This is it, folks. She's on her way. And it's no longer by my side with her hand in mine. She's making her own way. I try each day to give them the freedom to grow, and I pray each day that I can cut my mistakes down to a minimum. That's all I can do, really. I love you, Mollie Grace! =)
5. Marital Problems
This would take forever to go over, and frankly, I really cant relive it right now. Maybe another time. Thank you.
6. Being the 5Th grade room parent coordinator
Not as difficult as I thought. Last year I was the head room parent for each of my girls, and that was a trial, so I figured this would be too, but not so much. I really am grateful to all the wonderful room moms (and the one dad!) that work so hard to make parties and special events so wonderful for our classrooms!
7. Being the middle school treasure
Well, I was demoted, if you will. I was struggling to keep it all straight, and my hubby thought I was devoting too much time to my volunteer work and not enough to my family, so they voted in another and all is well! =)
8. Housing Board Secretary
Please see #5.
9. We got a puppy
His name is Odie. Mostly because our cat's name is, yes you guessed it, Garfield! Which is really hilarious to me because neither one of them look anything like their cartoon counterparts. He's a purebred red Cocker. He's just a delight. Such a great addition to the family! My camera was acting up, and I couldn't afford to get it fixed until recently, (I don't know how to post pictures on FB with my phone!) so I'll post some pictures of him as soon as I can. =)
10. Larry trying to get a job closer to home
Well, that kind brings us into the now, so I'll explain that one as I go.
OK, I need to just say it....I think I'm depressed. Or something...
I can give any excuse in the book, but the real reason I haven't been here is because I just couldn't do it. I fake my way through each and every day. I laugh and smile when I talk to people. Someone asks me how I am, and my answer is always: "Great! How are you?". Tell ya the truth, I'm screaming on the inside and I think I'm starting to go a little nuts. This depression, or this "thing" whatever it may be is really starting to effect my whole world. I don't visit or talk to my family or friends like I use to. I rarely go to church. I only venture out of my house to go to the market or to take kids to or from school. I sleep even less than I normally do. I either eat WAY too much in a day or nothing at all. When you see those commercials for depression meds and they say that it physically hurts....well, it does! My back is always sore from tossing and turning in bed and my ankles are swollen a lot of the time from not getting enough exercise. And, if it's possible, I have even less of a sex life than I did before. But here's the thing....I'm stuck between rocks and a hard place. Yes, you read right! I said rockS because there's more than one! My wise and favorite sister has over come many adversities by living the philosophy of: It happened, now get over it. And if I took anything away from my older, yet, none-the-wiser sister it was: Don't let life bottle up inside of you....let it out before it gets our of control.
Thing is...I'm not doing either of these. The reason I don't talk to my friends and family is partly because I don't want them to know how bad this has become and partly because I'm SO exhausted from "keeping up appearances". I really don't wanna end up like my mother, where I just sweep all my problems under the rug, never address what's going on, tare down everyone around me and cry about literally anything and everything. On that same token, I don't really wanna end up like my sister either (the less wiser one) and sit around popping pills and smoking dope all day and talking about how depressed I am because things that happened 30 years ago ruined my life. There's got to be some sort of happy medium. Somewhere between tight-lipped and whine-bag. I just haven't found it yet.
On a lighter note....
In the midst of all the pain and suffering, God has delivered a beacon of hope. Remember my idea to start my own company? Well, it's not exactly like I planned, but as of last week I'm doing just what I wanted to do. I cook, I clean and I run errands for a living!
A dear friend of mine approached me with the notion of caring for her brother who has had a stroke. He needed someone to cook, help keep house, take him places, and run errands for him. So, now I work for this wonderful man and I have to say...I think it's bringing me out of my funk! I have a little more focus and drive now. Gosh, that sounds terrible doesn't it? I have a husband and 4 precious children here. I should be looking forward to seeing and taking care of them each day. Don't get me wrong, I really do. And, if you've known me for longer than 10 seconds, you know I love those people with all my soul. But they are right here. I guess I just needed to think outside the box a little bit.
Anyway, speaking of God and His perfect timing....this job could not have come at a better time in our lives. Larry has been out of work since the beginning of this month. He got really sick with what he thought was the flu and it turned out to be pneumonia. He had never had pneumonia in his life, and this one got him pretty bad. And what made things worse, I think, was....the weekend he came home, we took him to urgent care and the doc there said he had a "cold". So, we went home and I treated him as if he had a cold. And it kept getting worse and worse as the week went on. So, I took him to our regular doc and sure enough the x-ray confirmed pneumonia. So, all that time was wasted when he could have been taking antibiotics, in my opinion. Never-the-less....When he saw the doc, they noticed he had high blood pressure, so they put him on a low dose med for it, and made him an appointment for a follow up a week later. In the mean time, Larry called his boss to let him know what was going on. At first they told him that he couldn't drive on the meds the doc gave him for the pneumonia, so they told him to say home until he was done taking it, plus 24 hours so it would be out of his system, then call back and they would get him a new assignment. Somewhere between 2 teaspoons of Robitussin with Codeine and 1 cup of chicken noodle soup, Larry's boss called because he had talked to our doc's office so he could get them to fax him over his "get outta jail free card", and they told him about the high blood pressure. Yadda, yadda, yadda....Larry can't go back to work until his blood pressure is lowered. He went back to have it checked last Monday, and it was even higher. So, they put him on another med, and they will recheck him this coming Monday.
In short...my friends' brother's and Larry's afflictions are my gain. Listen, if any of you ever have a crisis, call me because apparently I deal with them pretty well.
So, where am I now? Well, I'm just here trying to matter. It's so cliche, but I'm taking "one day at a time". I wake up at 6:45 to tell Mollie goodbye before she gets on the bus. I sit around sucking on some coffee and a few cigarettes (yes, I know, I know! =p) before I wake Bonnie and Charlie to help them start their day. They eat and get ready while I shower. Then I wake up my boys to get them going. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I come back home after drop offs at Ridgeview & Sterling to a mixture of quality time with Larry & Joe and dishes & laundry before I head off to work. And on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I just go straight there after the girls are all in school. I get off just in time to get Mollie and that gives her and I about 1/2 an hour to wash the car, get an ice cream or just chat. I swing by for Charlie then Bonnie and we return home where all our boys: Daddy, Joe, Garfield and Odie are there to greet us. It really is sweet.
Honestly, I sort of can't wait for Larry to go back on the road. But, that doesn't mean I wont miss him any less. It's been fun having him home. It reminded me of before we had Joe and it was just us and the girls. Waking up each day side-by-side. Sharing in all the day-to-day responsibilities. Well, it was more like 60/40, (and these days, it's more like 90/10) but that's pretty darn good for a guy. (No offence, fellas.)
A wonderful lady once told me: If there's nothing left to do, just pray. I'm really trying hard to keep that first and foremost in my mind so I can get through my days like I mentioned. And I really do need to remember how much fun blogging is so it wont take me 6 months before I return. I appreciate your patients, readers. And this time, I don't promise to blog every day or even once a week, but I promise I'll try.
Well, whattya know? Scarlett O'Hara was right......."Tomorrow is another day."
**(PS: I usually proof read and end up changing a ton of things before I post. One thing I WILL promise is...I won't do that any more. What ya see is what ya get!)
Monday, August 23, 2010
New Business Venture
"I got it all on the line for a piece of the promise land. I'm burning my candle at both ends. 'Bout the only way to keep the fire goin' is to out run the wind." Brooks & Dunn
I have said two things in my last blog entry. One: I would try and blog at least once a week. Two: A list of stuff I was going to blog about. Well...One outta two ain't bad, right?
Before I get into my list, I have this one to do. I know, I'm a bit scatter-brained, but I just have to get this out before the ideas escape me!
All year long this year, I have been tossing around the idea of going back to work. The only thing that holds me back is Joe. And for several reasons. If I went back to work, he would have to go to daycare, which I don't like. And it would be expensive, which my husband really doesn't like! But, it's times like these that I wish I had never really stopped working in the first place. That I might have just been brave enough to start him off in daycare when he was a baby, and it would have been part of our routine already.
The "times like these" I'm referring to is being broke all the time! I feel so guilty that my husband busts his tail day in and day out, not even coming home to his own bed at night just to provide for us, and we're still broke. And I'm not talking about: "Not having enough money to have my nails done this week" kinda broke. I hope most of you know me better than that! (LOL) I'm talking about: "Replacing my meals with tea or water so the kids have enough to eat" kinda broke. We are SO blessed that Larry has been able to maintain a job through these tough economic times, it's just not enough. Poor Larry is stressed out. He is literally paying for everything we have and use. Our house, the car, clothes, food, Internet/phone. I have been wondering what I could do that would take some of the pressure off him, and I think I have a pretty good idea. That is, if it'll work!
If I went to work at Wal-Mart or any other place here in town where I had to punch a clock from one certain time to one certain time every day, I would really only be making enough money to pay for the time that Joey spent in daycare while I was there. In fact, I'd be spending more in gas money by taking him there. So, what if I had a job where he could come with me? What kinda job would let me bring my toddler to the office every day? The answer is: The kind of job where you work for yourself!
I think by now you all know I love food and I love cooking for others even more. It is such a huge passion. It makes me feel like I am doing my job as the daughter of Christ. Makes me feel like that's my small way of ministering to people. I saw this small, kinda run down building here in our town go up for sale. I looked at it almost every day when I drove by. And on days when I didn't have to drive on that side of town, I would make up an excuse just so I'd have to. Like I said, it was a bit run down. Nothing special. Just a plain, one story little brown square. But, oh, that's so not what I saw. I saw "Riley Dogs". If there's one thing this town needs, it's a place to get a good hot dog. I drop the kids off by 8:30. Joey and me trot on over to "Riley Dogs" and cook up some good locally grown and made sausage hot dogs. Open the store at 10am; right before the lunch rush. Stay open 'til 2pm; just before I got to start picking kids up from school. Make it a perfect place for a struggling college kid to come get a meal for some change off the floor board of their car. Sounds great, right? Yeah, I thought so too. But, did you know that you have to have a boat load of cash just to make a little bit of it? It's true! This dinky little whole-in-the-wall type place that probably couldn't come up to code without a ton of work was selling for $100,000, plus $50,000 worth of equity!
I didn't let it get me down, though. After all, it's not like it was mine and it was taken away from me or anything. It was never really mine to begin with. Sure was a neat idea, though, if I do say so. OK, so, what else do I love? Besides my family and serving others, not really much. Serving others....Hmmmm....
I actually felt kinda guilty thinking this because everything I do as far as service to others has always been a gift. And now I was thinking about asking for money to do it! I asked myself: How could I serve others and still make a little dough doing it?! And here's what I came up with:
I have said two things in my last blog entry. One: I would try and blog at least once a week. Two: A list of stuff I was going to blog about. Well...One outta two ain't bad, right?
Before I get into my list, I have this one to do. I know, I'm a bit scatter-brained, but I just have to get this out before the ideas escape me!
All year long this year, I have been tossing around the idea of going back to work. The only thing that holds me back is Joe. And for several reasons. If I went back to work, he would have to go to daycare, which I don't like. And it would be expensive, which my husband really doesn't like! But, it's times like these that I wish I had never really stopped working in the first place. That I might have just been brave enough to start him off in daycare when he was a baby, and it would have been part of our routine already.
The "times like these" I'm referring to is being broke all the time! I feel so guilty that my husband busts his tail day in and day out, not even coming home to his own bed at night just to provide for us, and we're still broke. And I'm not talking about: "Not having enough money to have my nails done this week" kinda broke. I hope most of you know me better than that! (LOL) I'm talking about: "Replacing my meals with tea or water so the kids have enough to eat" kinda broke. We are SO blessed that Larry has been able to maintain a job through these tough economic times, it's just not enough. Poor Larry is stressed out. He is literally paying for everything we have and use. Our house, the car, clothes, food, Internet/phone. I have been wondering what I could do that would take some of the pressure off him, and I think I have a pretty good idea. That is, if it'll work!
If I went to work at Wal-Mart or any other place here in town where I had to punch a clock from one certain time to one certain time every day, I would really only be making enough money to pay for the time that Joey spent in daycare while I was there. In fact, I'd be spending more in gas money by taking him there. So, what if I had a job where he could come with me? What kinda job would let me bring my toddler to the office every day? The answer is: The kind of job where you work for yourself!
I think by now you all know I love food and I love cooking for others even more. It is such a huge passion. It makes me feel like I am doing my job as the daughter of Christ. Makes me feel like that's my small way of ministering to people. I saw this small, kinda run down building here in our town go up for sale. I looked at it almost every day when I drove by. And on days when I didn't have to drive on that side of town, I would make up an excuse just so I'd have to. Like I said, it was a bit run down. Nothing special. Just a plain, one story little brown square. But, oh, that's so not what I saw. I saw "Riley Dogs". If there's one thing this town needs, it's a place to get a good hot dog. I drop the kids off by 8:30. Joey and me trot on over to "Riley Dogs" and cook up some good locally grown and made sausage hot dogs. Open the store at 10am; right before the lunch rush. Stay open 'til 2pm; just before I got to start picking kids up from school. Make it a perfect place for a struggling college kid to come get a meal for some change off the floor board of their car. Sounds great, right? Yeah, I thought so too. But, did you know that you have to have a boat load of cash just to make a little bit of it? It's true! This dinky little whole-in-the-wall type place that probably couldn't come up to code without a ton of work was selling for $100,000, plus $50,000 worth of equity!
I didn't let it get me down, though. After all, it's not like it was mine and it was taken away from me or anything. It was never really mine to begin with. Sure was a neat idea, though, if I do say so. OK, so, what else do I love? Besides my family and serving others, not really much. Serving others....Hmmmm....
I actually felt kinda guilty thinking this because everything I do as far as service to others has always been a gift. And now I was thinking about asking for money to do it! I asked myself: How could I serve others and still make a little dough doing it?! And here's what I came up with:
Maid for You!
Kind of like a maid service, but there's SO much more I could do! More like a maid/lawn/babysit/run your errands/drive ya where ya need to go service! =) Think about it: Little Ol' Mrs. So-and-So is sick and can't go pick up here medicine. Or, she may need a ride to a doctor's appointment up in Kansas City. Or, Mr. What's-His-Face might need help picking up the yard after he mows the grass. Or, young Mrs. Who's It needs someone to clean her house while she cares for her new born baby. Mrs. Who's neighbor might desperately need a nap after running around with her twins all day. See??
This is stuff I do for friends, neighbors and church members already. I would love to be able to keep doing what I love, and not feel like I'm donating every moment of my time. Anyway, I talked to Larry about it several times, and he feels like he'd be able to breath a little bit if I had (at the very least) a bit more gas and/or grocery money coming in. I even went and talked to some people at the city office and obtaining a business license is fairly reachable. The only real problem is...OK, this is more than one...advertising and is there really a need for this kind of business? Honestly, I really think there is. There are so many older people who are house bound. And so many mothers that wish they had an extra set of hands. You know, when I was a kid, and even a little bit now, but mostly when i was young, I was never told that any of my ideas were any good. It was always: "Why don't you do this instead?". And because of that, I never really told people any of my "ideas". I even kinda invented something once, but I thought it was worthless and wouldn't make any money. Low and behold, now this "thing" is EVERYWHERE! I just don't want this to be one of those times where 10 years from now, I see Sally from down the street having fun and making some cash doing this very same thing, and kick myself.
Well, there you have. My hopeful new business venture! And now for an advertising plug! =)
Between the hours of 9am & 2pm, Monday-Friday, I will be available for you. My interests of help include:
Dusting, vacuuming, washing dishes, sweeping, mopping, mowing grass, taking out trash, doing laundry, cleaning house in general. Helping to organize rooms, file cabinets, or garages, running errands including: personal shopping, drug store pick ups, dropping of or picking up dry cleaning. Driving you to and from shopping, doctor's appointments, church, or anywhere else you may need to go. Babysitting: either while you're away, or while you have your hands full with other things around the house. Sitting with older folks who may need a hand while they're alone. Dog walking, bathing or brushing. (Not grooming because I don't know how to clip fur or nails.) Have I left anything out??
So, please, if you are or know someone in need of a gal and a half pint to help around the house, feel free to email or call me any time! I have to be a stickler about the timing, though. It is extremely important to me that I am home when my children get home from school! Which reminds me...I'd be glad to pick up kids from school. Between 2 & 3pm, I have room for 4 kiddos in my van (so they would have to be either half day pre schoolers, or middle and high schoolers), and at 3:30, I have room for one more since by that time I will have my brood as well.
If you have any feed back, please let'er rip! And like always, thanks for reading!!! =)
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Blog...Check!
"You can't turn back the clock, you can't turn back the tide. Ain't that a shame? I'd like to back one time on a roller coaster ride, when life was just a game. No use in sittin' around and thinkin' on what ya did, when you can lay back and enjoy it through your kids. Sometimes it seems like lately...I just don't know. I better just sit back and go with the flow." Queen
Well, well, well. It has been a long while hasn't it? For some reason I had 2 of my cousins and 2 very dear friends on my mind all day. I was praying for them, and just thinking about them in general. Then I wondered....Why are they, in particular, on my mind so much? Do they have something in common? Then I remembered...Ohhhh yeah! They are the only ones who read my blog! LOL!! So, I had about half an hour before 'Sex and the City' (ultimate Christain girl's guilty pleasure!) comes on, I figured I'd pencil you 4 in! =)
Now, half an hour is definitely not enough time for me to fill you in on what's been going on all Summer long. Heck, I take longer than that some nights just picking out the perfect song for my heading. Tonight's was easy. I put on my Queen/Rush/Steel Dragon/Don Henley play list, and that on popped out at me in 3 seconds!
This Summer has been one of the busiest of my adult life that I can remember. At the beginning of last school year for the girls, I figured I would have my hands full with Nannette, so I volunteered to be head room parent at all three of their classes. Figuring that some one along the way would get neglected, this was my way of being in their life as much as possible. Umm, yeah...never again! Oh my gosh was it a chore! And not the good kind! Hahahaha
I like to try and keep myself as busy as the hours in a day will allow me since I don't have an outside job now. I'm trying really hard to stick to all my schedules and agendas without leaving any one or any thing out. I just know I'm going to get that phone call one day. You know, the one we've all gotten at one point in our lives....."You were suppose to be here 15 minutes ago, where are you?".
Seeing as today was equally as busy as all the other days this Summer, I'm going to cut this short. But, I will give you a preview of sorts. The following is a list of all the "Stuff" (Can I say that here?) I need to catch you all up on. Now, I've made promises about blogging daily before and broke them, so I wont do that this time. What I will say is, I really enjoy this! It's a wonderful exercise for me. Not only for my brain, but it's a nice outlet for me seeing as I really don't have many other adults to talk to during the week. So, on that note, I will try and get back here at the very least once a week. It's not much, but I've got a little bit of free time coming my way because GUESS WHAT??? SCHOOL STARTS TUESDAY!!!! Can I get an AMEN??? Woot, Woot!!!! LOL!!
By the way, I use to get really irritated at moms that looked forward to school during the Summer....To me it said: "I can't stand you, go back to school"! But, you know, now I "get it"! Hahaha
OK, here's my list of "Stuff", and I will get to them one blog at a time as soon as I can!!
1. Went on Vacation
2. My best friend with through an ugly divorce.
3. Mollie had her last year of VBS.
4. Mollie was commissioned into the youth group at church, and is going to Middle School this year! =(
5. Went through some really painful marital problems that God pulled us out of!
6. I am now the 5th grade room parent coordinator at Bonnie's school.
7. "Accidentally" became the Middle School's Treasurer! Hmmmm.... O.o
8. I am the Secretary of our housing board....this will be a BIG blog! ;-)
9. We got a puppy! =)
10. Larry might be trying to kind of get a possible job where he's home in the evenings...which means I may just sort of have to get a job too! (Maybe!)
I think I can knock this out in 10 weeks if I blog once a week...5 if I blog twice...2 if I blog Mon-Fri. I dunno...you'll just have to tune in and see!
Love you all! =)
Well, well, well. It has been a long while hasn't it? For some reason I had 2 of my cousins and 2 very dear friends on my mind all day. I was praying for them, and just thinking about them in general. Then I wondered....Why are they, in particular, on my mind so much? Do they have something in common? Then I remembered...Ohhhh yeah! They are the only ones who read my blog! LOL!! So, I had about half an hour before 'Sex and the City' (ultimate Christain girl's guilty pleasure!) comes on, I figured I'd pencil you 4 in! =)
Now, half an hour is definitely not enough time for me to fill you in on what's been going on all Summer long. Heck, I take longer than that some nights just picking out the perfect song for my heading. Tonight's was easy. I put on my Queen/Rush/Steel Dragon/Don Henley play list, and that on popped out at me in 3 seconds!
This Summer has been one of the busiest of my adult life that I can remember. At the beginning of last school year for the girls, I figured I would have my hands full with Nannette, so I volunteered to be head room parent at all three of their classes. Figuring that some one along the way would get neglected, this was my way of being in their life as much as possible. Umm, yeah...never again! Oh my gosh was it a chore! And not the good kind! Hahahaha
I like to try and keep myself as busy as the hours in a day will allow me since I don't have an outside job now. I'm trying really hard to stick to all my schedules and agendas without leaving any one or any thing out. I just know I'm going to get that phone call one day. You know, the one we've all gotten at one point in our lives....."You were suppose to be here 15 minutes ago, where are you?".
Seeing as today was equally as busy as all the other days this Summer, I'm going to cut this short. But, I will give you a preview of sorts. The following is a list of all the "Stuff" (Can I say that here?) I need to catch you all up on. Now, I've made promises about blogging daily before and broke them, so I wont do that this time. What I will say is, I really enjoy this! It's a wonderful exercise for me. Not only for my brain, but it's a nice outlet for me seeing as I really don't have many other adults to talk to during the week. So, on that note, I will try and get back here at the very least once a week. It's not much, but I've got a little bit of free time coming my way because GUESS WHAT??? SCHOOL STARTS TUESDAY!!!! Can I get an AMEN??? Woot, Woot!!!! LOL!!
By the way, I use to get really irritated at moms that looked forward to school during the Summer....To me it said: "I can't stand you, go back to school"! But, you know, now I "get it"! Hahaha
OK, here's my list of "Stuff", and I will get to them one blog at a time as soon as I can!!
1. Went on Vacation
2. My best friend with through an ugly divorce.
3. Mollie had her last year of VBS.
4. Mollie was commissioned into the youth group at church, and is going to Middle School this year! =(
5. Went through some really painful marital problems that God pulled us out of!
6. I am now the 5th grade room parent coordinator at Bonnie's school.
7. "Accidentally" became the Middle School's Treasurer! Hmmmm.... O.o
8. I am the Secretary of our housing board....this will be a BIG blog! ;-)
9. We got a puppy! =)
10. Larry might be trying to kind of get a possible job where he's home in the evenings...which means I may just sort of have to get a job too! (Maybe!)
I think I can knock this out in 10 weeks if I blog once a week...5 if I blog twice...2 if I blog Mon-Fri. I dunno...you'll just have to tune in and see!
Love you all! =)
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Something Beautiful
"Won't you look down upon me, Jesus. You've got to help me make a stand. You've just got to see me through another day. My body's aching and my time is at hand, and I won't make it any other way." ~James Taylor
Usually when I know I'm about to blog, I sit here for a good 20 minutes, sometimes an hour looking through music to use as my theme. Tonight I knew exactly which song I wanted: "Fire and Rain". If you don't know the song, please download it, or you can go to http://www.songlyrics.com/ and type in the name of the artist or the song in the search bar. The lyrics will pop up, but there will be an option to listen to the song somewhere on the right side of the page. It's just so beautiful, and it speaks to me. He talks about how he's had good times and bad times, but how God is always there. At least, that's what it says to me.
Speaking of good and bad times...Last week we were served an eviction notice from our landlord. I hate using the word "lord" when I'm not talking about my Savior, don't you? There are plenty of things I'd like to call him, but for the sake of being kind, I'll call him "the owner of the house". So, anyway, yeah...evicted! I've never been evicted before! And honestly, at first, I didn't argue. We had not been the most consistent tenants. We have been late with the rent more than a few times. But, it's not by choice. When times were really tough, we chose feeding the kids above all. And lately, Larry has been working very hard and he got a pay raise on top of that. We hadn't been late with a bill in a long while. So, after the owner left that day, I thought: Wait just a second! I started looking through every file folder and drawer and cabinet and box we had with papers in it. I found every receipt I could find. I went down to show him what I found and he presented me with a list of every month's rent from November 2008 until now. He went back and charged us a late fee for every month on that list. Including the months we were not late! Plus, there were months on his list that showed we either didn't pay all of the rent, or we didn't pay it at all, when in fact I had receipts that showed otherwise. He claimed we owed him over $1500!
I gathered all my receipts and took them to legal aid to see what I could do about the eviction. They said unfortunately there wasn't much they or even I could do about it because I didn't have every single receipt, and owners sue their tenants all the time, so they said that judges are use to hearing sob stories with not proof. That I can understand.
We had until the 6Th of May. What were we going to do? The only money we had saved was for our vacation coming up this summer....which I'll get to in my next blog! =) All I could think about was how disappointed my kiddos were going to be. Larry said that he had a bonus coming up, and as of the moment, it wasn't for sure that we would have to miss vacation, so I took that as a sign of hope.
The very next day I started doing what we all do when we're looking for a place....I made a job out of it. I looked in all the papers. I drove around and looked for "For Rent" signs in yards. I even called a few friends I knew that owned properties. But, who was going to rent to people who were just evicted? Last year when we wanted to move, we looked hard core and got no where. Larry said then: We should just stay where we are for now, save some money, and pay some more stuff off our credit like we are, then just buy a house in a few years. So, we stopped looking.
When I say we looked hard core, I mean it was HARD CORE! We looked at everything! One place we looked at was a mobile home. Right off the bat, I'm not thrilled. I could just picture Larry wearing one of those white tank tops, and the girls in Daisy-Duke shorts, me always bare-footed, and Joey's face with crusted food around it at any given time of day. But, as Larry reminded me...it was a place to live. So, we filled out the papers and actually ended up qualifying for the loan. But, I left it alone. I like the idea of waiting it out here much better than living in a trailer.
I wanted to give up looking again, but this time it was different....we HAD to move. Relentlessly, I picked up another paper last Thursday. Low and behold, guess what was in there?? That same mobile home! Larry said that he thought it was a blessing, so, of course I had to call! Turns out, the lady that did our original paper work...it was her first day on the job...she remembered us by name! I thought that was so sweet! We went out there and looked at it again. I guess before I didn't notice all that this place had to offer. I mean, it is brand-spakin' new! All the stuff, like the stove, dishwasher, fridge, toilets, still have the tags on them! We talked to the park management again. We filled out a few more papers to make our old file current. And well, we are now home owners ourselves! YaY! *Toss confetti in the air* WooHoo!!
It's in a park, so we really don't have much of a yard. But, there's a lake right across the street, and a pool, and a play ground for the kiddos to play in. We close on Friday. The girls and I have been working our tails off trying to get this house ready to leave and our new one ready to build a life in. Garfield is getting a little upset at all the boxes laying everywhere. He keeps giving me that: "I'm not going to like this, am I?" look. Sometimes I look back at him like: "You and me, both".
We're suppose to be moved in all the way by the 24Th. We are also having a yard sale tomorrow to get rid of the junk we had that was too nice to trash, but took up too much room for the new pad. If you're reading this between 10pm & 10am (Tues.-Wed.), please pray that it all goes swimmingly tomorrow. I don't think I'm very good at hosting yard sales. I've only had one other, and I'm going to be dragging out all the stuff that didn't sell from that one tomorrow.
If we're this busy now, then I suspect we'll get more busy soon. So, I may not be on here for a while, but I will post pictures on Facebook as soon as I can!
Thank you all so much for taking time out to read this!
God is GOOD!
Usually when I know I'm about to blog, I sit here for a good 20 minutes, sometimes an hour looking through music to use as my theme. Tonight I knew exactly which song I wanted: "Fire and Rain". If you don't know the song, please download it, or you can go to http://www.songlyrics.com/ and type in the name of the artist or the song in the search bar. The lyrics will pop up, but there will be an option to listen to the song somewhere on the right side of the page. It's just so beautiful, and it speaks to me. He talks about how he's had good times and bad times, but how God is always there. At least, that's what it says to me.
Speaking of good and bad times...Last week we were served an eviction notice from our landlord. I hate using the word "lord" when I'm not talking about my Savior, don't you? There are plenty of things I'd like to call him, but for the sake of being kind, I'll call him "the owner of the house". So, anyway, yeah...evicted! I've never been evicted before! And honestly, at first, I didn't argue. We had not been the most consistent tenants. We have been late with the rent more than a few times. But, it's not by choice. When times were really tough, we chose feeding the kids above all. And lately, Larry has been working very hard and he got a pay raise on top of that. We hadn't been late with a bill in a long while. So, after the owner left that day, I thought: Wait just a second! I started looking through every file folder and drawer and cabinet and box we had with papers in it. I found every receipt I could find. I went down to show him what I found and he presented me with a list of every month's rent from November 2008 until now. He went back and charged us a late fee for every month on that list. Including the months we were not late! Plus, there were months on his list that showed we either didn't pay all of the rent, or we didn't pay it at all, when in fact I had receipts that showed otherwise. He claimed we owed him over $1500!
I gathered all my receipts and took them to legal aid to see what I could do about the eviction. They said unfortunately there wasn't much they or even I could do about it because I didn't have every single receipt, and owners sue their tenants all the time, so they said that judges are use to hearing sob stories with not proof. That I can understand.
We had until the 6Th of May. What were we going to do? The only money we had saved was for our vacation coming up this summer....which I'll get to in my next blog! =) All I could think about was how disappointed my kiddos were going to be. Larry said that he had a bonus coming up, and as of the moment, it wasn't for sure that we would have to miss vacation, so I took that as a sign of hope.
The very next day I started doing what we all do when we're looking for a place....I made a job out of it. I looked in all the papers. I drove around and looked for "For Rent" signs in yards. I even called a few friends I knew that owned properties. But, who was going to rent to people who were just evicted? Last year when we wanted to move, we looked hard core and got no where. Larry said then: We should just stay where we are for now, save some money, and pay some more stuff off our credit like we are, then just buy a house in a few years. So, we stopped looking.
When I say we looked hard core, I mean it was HARD CORE! We looked at everything! One place we looked at was a mobile home. Right off the bat, I'm not thrilled. I could just picture Larry wearing one of those white tank tops, and the girls in Daisy-Duke shorts, me always bare-footed, and Joey's face with crusted food around it at any given time of day. But, as Larry reminded me...it was a place to live. So, we filled out the papers and actually ended up qualifying for the loan. But, I left it alone. I like the idea of waiting it out here much better than living in a trailer.
I wanted to give up looking again, but this time it was different....we HAD to move. Relentlessly, I picked up another paper last Thursday. Low and behold, guess what was in there?? That same mobile home! Larry said that he thought it was a blessing, so, of course I had to call! Turns out, the lady that did our original paper work...it was her first day on the job...she remembered us by name! I thought that was so sweet! We went out there and looked at it again. I guess before I didn't notice all that this place had to offer. I mean, it is brand-spakin' new! All the stuff, like the stove, dishwasher, fridge, toilets, still have the tags on them! We talked to the park management again. We filled out a few more papers to make our old file current. And well, we are now home owners ourselves! YaY! *Toss confetti in the air* WooHoo!!
It's in a park, so we really don't have much of a yard. But, there's a lake right across the street, and a pool, and a play ground for the kiddos to play in. We close on Friday. The girls and I have been working our tails off trying to get this house ready to leave and our new one ready to build a life in. Garfield is getting a little upset at all the boxes laying everywhere. He keeps giving me that: "I'm not going to like this, am I?" look. Sometimes I look back at him like: "You and me, both".
We're suppose to be moved in all the way by the 24Th. We are also having a yard sale tomorrow to get rid of the junk we had that was too nice to trash, but took up too much room for the new pad. If you're reading this between 10pm & 10am (Tues.-Wed.), please pray that it all goes swimmingly tomorrow. I don't think I'm very good at hosting yard sales. I've only had one other, and I'm going to be dragging out all the stuff that didn't sell from that one tomorrow.
If we're this busy now, then I suspect we'll get more busy soon. So, I may not be on here for a while, but I will post pictures on Facebook as soon as I can!
Thank you all so much for taking time out to read this!
God is GOOD!
Learning to Accept Me
"She spends her days up in the North Park, watching the people as they pass. All she wants is just a little piece of that dream. Is that too much to ask? If I could be like that, I would give anything. Just to live one day in those shoes. If I could be like that, what would I do?"
~3 Doors Down
Usually I wirte at night, and I might just still later, you never know. But, the girls dont have to picked up from school for another hour and a half and Joe just so happen to fall asleep on the couch, so I thought I'd take advantage of it.
I have a question: How many of you read the lyrics that head all of my blog entires? Reason I ask is because sometimes I over look things like that. When Im reading a book or a magazine article, I over look the titles or the heading and go right for the meat of the topic. So, if you would please, do this: If you missed this one, please go back and read it, and if you didn't, still, please, go back and read it again.
Pretty powerfull stuff, huh? Some might say those words apply to me. In fact, that's why I put them in there. There have been so many times I have sat and watched people...mostly women...and thought: If I could just have the money they have, then I'd be OK. Or: If I just looked like them, then maybe my husband would like me better. But what are these thoughts really? I have to say, I set out to work a completely different angle on today's entry until I was sitting here with just those lyrics on the screen. I started thinking about what I've heard since I started this blog, and others in the past as well....People say Im brave. People say Im faithful and honest. I even had one lady say that I was an inspiration to others. Maybe I am, I dont know. But, one thing's for sure: Im a sinner, and if you put me up on a pedestal, I WILL fall off!
Ok, so back to the origianl thought here: The song lyrics. I put them up there because that's how I was feeling when I sat down here to write. But what are those feelings? Well, they are sins! So, that lead me to Ask.com: What are the 7 deadly sins and their meanings? I actually found 11 of them! I dont know how to 'copy & paste', so let me simplfy what I read here:
According to the Ask.com encyclopedia, here is a list of historical and modern definitions of all the deadly sins:
1. Extravagance: Frequent purchases of luxury goods; forms of debauchery.
2. Lust: Excessive thoughts or desires of a sexual nature.
3. Gluttony: The gulp down and swallow anything over-indulgently to the point of waste.
4. Greed: A rapacious desire and pursuit of wealth status and power.
5. Acedia: Translated to 'apathetic listlessness'; depression without joy. The neglect to take care of something one should be doing; similar to melancholy.
6. Despair: Feelings of hopelessness, despondency, and impending doom.
7. Sloth: Laziness and indifference.
8. Wrath: Uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger; rage.
9. Envy: Insatiable desire.
10. Pride: The desire to be more important or more attractive than others, failing to acknowledge the good works of others, and excessive love of self.
11. Vainglory: Unjustified boasting or vanity.
How many of those did you indentify with? One? Two? Six? All of them? Here, hopefully this makes you feel better: I went back over them after I typed them out trying to find at least one so I could say: Ok, I sin by way of all these EXCEPT #6, or #9 or whatever. Wanna hear the ugly truth? I couldnt find one! I am guilty of ALL of these sins! And here I thought Gluttony (#3) would be my biggest challenge.
Ok, here's my list of sins according to the list above: *Big Sigh*
1. Extravagance: Well, I dont really buy what you'd call 'luxury items', but like i had said in a previous entry, I had bought a lot fo fast food "secretly", so that could be my purchases.
2. Lust: Oh wow, ok....Let me see....Im about as lustfull as a 15 year old boy, so this might be next to the worse one for me! I tried to reason that it was ok because the only person I truly lust after is my own husband, but that doesnt make it right.
3. Gluttony: My 'Akile's Heel', if you will.
4. Greed: According to the meanings, I dont really think I wish to be powerful or even 'of status', but I do desire to be wealthy at times.
5. Acedia: Neglecting to take care of something I should be doing...Hmmm...Yes, I do that daily.
6. Despair: I dont feel as hopeless as I use to, that's getting much better. But, what I do stil feel strongly is a feeling of being worthless; of not mattering.
7. Sloth: If I didnt have a little Sloth in me, I dont think I'd be as fat as I am today, you know.
8. Wrath: It's funny that they describe the feelings of rage or anger as 'uncontrolable', because that's exactly what they are. I dont want to get as angry as I do sometimes, but I just do.
9. Envy: I guess this is also at the top of my list. Honestly, I can't even have a conversation with certain people without wishing I was more like them. And for me, it's mostly physical.
10. Pride: Again, that just kinda ties in with #9....I sometimes wish I was more attractive than others and/or myself.
11. Vainglory: Unjustified boasting...Hmmm...I think I might do this on some sort of unconscience level.
It's hard to put your sins in the mirror. I think it's even harder to lay them out there for everyone to see. Was I just unjustifiably boasting? Gosh I hope not!
With every sin listed above, I believe that there can be a virtue. So, there is a bright side to all this ugliness. And the best part about it is, God doesn't want you to feel this way or do these things. He wrote a manuel for us all to follow, and when we slip off track, He wants to bring take it away and bring us back! But in the mean time, I feel I should learn to accept these things about me. Im a lot of things. A sinner is only part of who I am....who we all are. Do you fear change? Please dont! Change is good! Just look at your own list....you want to change them, right? You want your ending to be good, right? God knows who you are and what you're all about and guess what? He loves you reguardless of any flaws! Me too!
I have completely run out of time! I was going to say: I dont even have time to proof read this and check for errors. But, you know, I think that kinda fits in with today's theme! So, Im going click 'post' without spell-checking, please forgive me!
I might be back tonight to do another food journal, I dont know, depends on how much time I have. Thursday is my 'Sloth' day! It's the day I run around and do all the things I couldnt or just DIDNT do while Larry was gone so he doesnt notice.
I always send him the link to my blog....Oh well, my cat's outta the bag now!
~3 Doors Down
Usually I wirte at night, and I might just still later, you never know. But, the girls dont have to picked up from school for another hour and a half and Joe just so happen to fall asleep on the couch, so I thought I'd take advantage of it.
I have a question: How many of you read the lyrics that head all of my blog entires? Reason I ask is because sometimes I over look things like that. When Im reading a book or a magazine article, I over look the titles or the heading and go right for the meat of the topic. So, if you would please, do this: If you missed this one, please go back and read it, and if you didn't, still, please, go back and read it again.
Pretty powerfull stuff, huh? Some might say those words apply to me. In fact, that's why I put them in there. There have been so many times I have sat and watched people...mostly women...and thought: If I could just have the money they have, then I'd be OK. Or: If I just looked like them, then maybe my husband would like me better. But what are these thoughts really? I have to say, I set out to work a completely different angle on today's entry until I was sitting here with just those lyrics on the screen. I started thinking about what I've heard since I started this blog, and others in the past as well....People say Im brave. People say Im faithful and honest. I even had one lady say that I was an inspiration to others. Maybe I am, I dont know. But, one thing's for sure: Im a sinner, and if you put me up on a pedestal, I WILL fall off!
Ok, so back to the origianl thought here: The song lyrics. I put them up there because that's how I was feeling when I sat down here to write. But what are those feelings? Well, they are sins! So, that lead me to Ask.com: What are the 7 deadly sins and their meanings? I actually found 11 of them! I dont know how to 'copy & paste', so let me simplfy what I read here:
According to the Ask.com encyclopedia, here is a list of historical and modern definitions of all the deadly sins:
1. Extravagance: Frequent purchases of luxury goods; forms of debauchery.
2. Lust: Excessive thoughts or desires of a sexual nature.
3. Gluttony: The gulp down and swallow anything over-indulgently to the point of waste.
4. Greed: A rapacious desire and pursuit of wealth status and power.
5. Acedia: Translated to 'apathetic listlessness'; depression without joy. The neglect to take care of something one should be doing; similar to melancholy.
6. Despair: Feelings of hopelessness, despondency, and impending doom.
7. Sloth: Laziness and indifference.
8. Wrath: Uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger; rage.
9. Envy: Insatiable desire.
10. Pride: The desire to be more important or more attractive than others, failing to acknowledge the good works of others, and excessive love of self.
11. Vainglory: Unjustified boasting or vanity.
How many of those did you indentify with? One? Two? Six? All of them? Here, hopefully this makes you feel better: I went back over them after I typed them out trying to find at least one so I could say: Ok, I sin by way of all these EXCEPT #6, or #9 or whatever. Wanna hear the ugly truth? I couldnt find one! I am guilty of ALL of these sins! And here I thought Gluttony (#3) would be my biggest challenge.
Ok, here's my list of sins according to the list above: *Big Sigh*
1. Extravagance: Well, I dont really buy what you'd call 'luxury items', but like i had said in a previous entry, I had bought a lot fo fast food "secretly", so that could be my purchases.
2. Lust: Oh wow, ok....Let me see....Im about as lustfull as a 15 year old boy, so this might be next to the worse one for me! I tried to reason that it was ok because the only person I truly lust after is my own husband, but that doesnt make it right.
3. Gluttony: My 'Akile's Heel', if you will.
4. Greed: According to the meanings, I dont really think I wish to be powerful or even 'of status', but I do desire to be wealthy at times.
5. Acedia: Neglecting to take care of something I should be doing...Hmmm...Yes, I do that daily.
6. Despair: I dont feel as hopeless as I use to, that's getting much better. But, what I do stil feel strongly is a feeling of being worthless; of not mattering.
7. Sloth: If I didnt have a little Sloth in me, I dont think I'd be as fat as I am today, you know.
8. Wrath: It's funny that they describe the feelings of rage or anger as 'uncontrolable', because that's exactly what they are. I dont want to get as angry as I do sometimes, but I just do.
9. Envy: I guess this is also at the top of my list. Honestly, I can't even have a conversation with certain people without wishing I was more like them. And for me, it's mostly physical.
10. Pride: Again, that just kinda ties in with #9....I sometimes wish I was more attractive than others and/or myself.
11. Vainglory: Unjustified boasting...Hmmm...I think I might do this on some sort of unconscience level.
It's hard to put your sins in the mirror. I think it's even harder to lay them out there for everyone to see. Was I just unjustifiably boasting? Gosh I hope not!
With every sin listed above, I believe that there can be a virtue. So, there is a bright side to all this ugliness. And the best part about it is, God doesn't want you to feel this way or do these things. He wrote a manuel for us all to follow, and when we slip off track, He wants to bring take it away and bring us back! But in the mean time, I feel I should learn to accept these things about me. Im a lot of things. A sinner is only part of who I am....who we all are. Do you fear change? Please dont! Change is good! Just look at your own list....you want to change them, right? You want your ending to be good, right? God knows who you are and what you're all about and guess what? He loves you reguardless of any flaws! Me too!
I have completely run out of time! I was going to say: I dont even have time to proof read this and check for errors. But, you know, I think that kinda fits in with today's theme! So, Im going click 'post' without spell-checking, please forgive me!
I might be back tonight to do another food journal, I dont know, depends on how much time I have. Thursday is my 'Sloth' day! It's the day I run around and do all the things I couldnt or just DIDNT do while Larry was gone so he doesnt notice.
I always send him the link to my blog....Oh well, my cat's outta the bag now!
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